Q: Why did the boy bring a ladder to school?
A: He wanted to go to high school.
***********************************************************
Q: Where do pencils go for vacation?
A: Pencil-vania.
***********************************************************
Q: Which flower talks the most?
A: Tulips, of course, because they have two lips!
***********************************************************
Q: A man arrived in a small town on Friday. He stayed for two days and left on Friday. How is this possible?
A: His horse’s name is Friday!
***********************************************************
Q: What do you call a fish without an eye?
A: Fsh!
***********************************************************
Q: Why do fish live in salt water?
A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!
***********************************************************
Q: Why does a dog wag its tail?
A: Because there’s no one else to wag it for him
***********************************************************
Q: What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?
A: It’s shadow!
***********************************************************
Q: Which day do fish hate?
A: Fryday!
***********************************************************
- How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?
A. Put him in the front seat.
***********************************************************
Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?
A: Time to get a new bed!
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A liar once met another liar and told him,
” I went hunting and caught seven rabbits , five stags and three lions”
The second liar claimed, ”Only this much? “
The liar hunter said, ”Is it possible to hunt more than this
by the time I didn’t even have guns“!?
**************
If your world is spining Round & Round …& Round …..
Your heart is beating fast.
Do you think it’s Love?
No ……., no, it’s called high B/P (blood pressure)
************************
God made man and then rested.
God made women and then no one rested.
*************************
Without Love —– days are
Sadday
Moanday
Tearsday
Wasteday
Thirstday
Frightday
Shatterday ——- so be in Love everyday
*******************
I am going to write on all the bricks:
I MISS YOU
and I wish that one falls on your head , so that you know how it hurts when you miss someone special like you.
******************
Teacher:”What is your name?”.
Student:”Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai.”
Teacher:”When I ask a question in English, answer it in English.”
Student:”My name is Sunlight.
********************************
Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student: Gandhi ji was born..
Teacher :What happened in 1873?
Student: Gandhi ji was four years old.
*********************************
Question: What is the full form of math.
Answer: Mentally affected teachers harassing students.
*******************************
Teacher : Now children , if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing ?
Student : BROTHERLY LOVE
********************************
Teacher :Because of Gandhi ji’s hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student: A holiday
****************************
Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun. Everyone must attend it.
Raju: No ma’m! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher :Why?
Raju: My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!
**************
Mr . Smith
.
I was stuck in ELEVATOR for 3 hrs
Due to electric failure
Mr. Bean: Ya me too
I was stuck on ESCALATOR
for 5 hrs
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
(husband& Wife )
husband: Will you marry , after I die.
Wife : No I will live with my sister.
Wife : Will you marry , after I die.
husband:
No I will also live with your sister
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
1: Look a thief has entered
our kitchen
and he is eating the cake I made.
2: Whom should I
call now,
Police or Ambulance?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
A lady want to see a tarot reader woman
who’ll predict her future.
– Leady , I’m sorry to inform
you that your husband will die in the near future .
– Don’t
tell me things that I already know , tell me if there would be an
investigation.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Teacher while lecturing , noticed a student sleeping at the back.
Teacher shouts to his neighbor : “ wake him up!”
Neighbor yells : “You put him to sleep , so you wake him up.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday?
Son : Not much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Jack was attending the funeral service of the richest man in the city.
Because he was weeping bitterly, a man asked
sadly, ” was the deceases one of the dear relatives?
“No” said jack.
Then why are you crying?” asked the stranger.
” Because I’m not one of the relatives,” answered jack.
